The grasshopper and the unicorn lived in a field of rainbows, wedged between two different fields of humble pie.
All through summer, the grasshopper hopped around, carefully yet hastily gathering quantum particles in preparation for a journey through a space-time warp to an alternate dimension, while the unicorn simply charged through the rainbows, piercing quantum particles with his horn, like a kebab, and willing them to dance upon his forehead.
“What are you doing, you silly unicorn?” The grasshopper shook his tiny head. “You’re not going to get to an alternate dimension like that, and winter with its carcinogenic blizzards is coming soon.”
The unicorn laughed. “You truly believe you can reach an alternate dimension? You’re just a grasshopper, and only mighty unicorns are allowed through the space-time warp! All the quantum particles in this whole field wouldn’t get you through!”
The grasshopper readied a stinging rebuke, but then realised his quantum-particles-foraged-versus-time-spent-before-carcinogenic-blizzards ratio was getting dangerously low, so he hopped away instead.
The aeons passed, and the deadly cancer-causing agents began to brew on the horizon, and all the while, the unicorn kept on playing, and the grasshopper kept on hoarding.
And then, the storms finally arrived. The fields of humble pie began to transform into horrible tumorous lumps, and the blizzard was quickly closing in on the rainbow field.
“It’s time!” The grasshopper yelled over the sound of a thousand blueberry pies getting turned inside out. He jumped into his perfectly constructed quantum particle field and began to swim around. “Goodbye unicorn! I’m kind of sorry that you brought your death upon yourself!”
The unicorn didn’t respond. His eyes were fixated upon his forehead, where the quantum particles were dancing to a tune that he had begun to sing, to ward off the fear of the cancerous clouds all around him. They began to glow, and morph, and soon they erupted like a full-blown laser light display, and the unicorn winked away, leaving behind a cloud of flavour (mostly cinnamon, but with a hint of nutmeg).
The grasshopper swam frantically as the blizzards came ever closer. The hail of carcinogens fell upon his quantum field, and the field began to disintegrate.
“Noooo!” The grasshopper cried out, as the malignant drops fell on his green body, and he felt the cancer bubble up inside him, his organs festering, his skin beginning to split…
And then everything went black, and everything went silent.
And when the grasshopper opened his eyes, he wept with joy.
